<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Pancakes and Pronouns by advisortotheadvisor</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29785953">Pancakes and Pronouns</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/advisortotheadvisor/pseuds/advisortotheadvisor'>advisortotheadvisor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Austin &amp; Ally</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming Out, Domestic Fluff, Getting Together, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Dez, Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:53:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,391</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29785953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/advisortotheadvisor/pseuds/advisortotheadvisor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Trish and Dez discuss their relationship, among other things.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Trish De la Rosa/Dez Wade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pancakes and Pronouns</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If you told fifteen-year-old Trish De la Rosa that she would spend most of her mornings in the future sharing a bed with Dez Wade, she would have called you insane.</p><p>Which, okay she knew how that sounded, but they weren't <em>dating,</em> or anything, they were just friends. Who shared an apartment. And occasionally slept in the same bed when they fell asleep watching movies on Dez's laptop or when Dez had a nightmare or when Trish needed to vent late at night. But other than that (and one drunken kiss they both refused to talk about), the two of them had a totally normal <em>platonic</em> relationship.</p><p>Or at least, that's what she was trying to convince herself as she and Dez made plans to go see a movie later, still wrapped in her zebra print comforter. Their schedules were always messy- Dez was still mostly doing freelance projects when he wasn't helping out at the music factory and Trish was trying to balance managing her clients with her own burgeoning acting career. Not to mention Dez had been weirdly and uncharacteristically distant lately, so carving out time for even simple things like movie dates was harder than usual.</p><p>…not that it actually was a date. Just two friends going to the movie theater together.</p><p>“I still think we should go see The Courageous Heart,” Dez said, absentmindedly playing with one of her curls.</p><p>“The Timid Heart was seriously the worst movie I've ever seen, why would I want to watch its sequel?”</p><p>“It wasn’t that bad,” Dez said, punctuating the statement with an annoyed eye roll. “And anyway, what if the sequel is better?”</p><p>“When is the sequel ever better than the original?”</p><p>“C'mon, everyone knows that the third Zaliens movie is better than the original.”</p><p>“Okay yeah, but Zaliens 3 is the exception, not the rule,” she said. Admitting Dez was right was less nauseating than it had been when they were teenagers, but she still wasn't one to admit defeat in an argument, no matter how petty. “Anyway, I'm not watching The Courageous Heart, and if you try to make me I'm gonna tell our landlord about all the pets you snuck in under his nose.”</p><p>Dez gasped loudly, overdramatic as always. “You wouldn't dare!”</p><p>“I think I would dare. I can imagine the conversation now: ‘Hey, Mr. Weston, you know the rule that tenants can't have any pets? Well, my roommate is the stupidest man on earth and brought in a bunch of animals because he wants to be evicted.”</p><p>Dez winced, then said in a tone far too smug for someone wearing flamingo pajamas, “No way, you love Sprinkles almost as much as you love me.”</p><p>This was the part where she was supposed to make a snarky retort, probably something about how she would trade Dez's ridiculously named cat for half a bagel, but she couldn't find anything to say. Her mind spun in place like a truck with its wheels in the mud, stuck on the simple four-lettered word that Dez had just casually dropped into conversation. It shouldn't be a big deal – friends said they loved each other all the time – but it was. It was a bigger deal than Trish had expected and suddenly everything felt too close, too intimate. Dez's hands were still playing with her hair, something she was used to since it had happened a thousand times before, but all of a sudden she was overly aware of every bit of physical contact, like the fingers carding through her curls were leaving fires in their wake. It felt like the two of them were making unspoken promises she couldn’t keep, so she drew back abruptly like the metaphorical fires had just became literal.</p><p>She wasn't sure if it was her pulling away or her lack of response that signaled something was wrong, but either way, Dez had gotten far too good at reading over the years so instead of pushing it, the redhead simply pulled away too.</p><p>“I'm hungry. You in the mood for pancakes?” Dez asked, sitting up and stretching. Then, instead of waiting for any kind of response from Trish, Dez wandered out of the room, presumably to start cooking.</p><p>By the time Trish was done getting dressed, Dez had already gathered most of the ingredients and started a pot of coffee. Trish seated herself on one of barstools at the kitchen island and things seemed to get easier from there, all the awkwardness from earlier dissolving into thin air. Dez squinted at the pancake mix box to read the directions and Trish piped up with her normal teasing comment about the redhead needing glasses and it felt almost normal. <em>Almost</em> being the keyword there. Because while it certainly was just a normal day for the two of them, Trish was suddenly very conscious of how domestic the scene was, like they were one of those married couples in a sitcom and not a pair of friends who couldn't go twenty seconds with bickering.</p><p>“So if you won't go see The Courageous Heart, maybe we could check out that new horror movie instead,” Dez suggested, picking up the threads of their conversation like nothing had interrupted it.</p><p>“The one with the vampire clowns?” Trish said, wrinkling her nose at the idea. “No way, I heard it’s awful. Maybe we should just forget the movie.”</p><p>“Aw, c'mon!” Dez whined, turning away from the stove to pout at her. “We're always so busy, we never get any time for dates-"</p><p>“It's not a date,” Trish interrupted swiftly, harshly.</p><p>Dez cheeks went pink, evidently picking up on the verbal blunder that had just been made. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” The redhead turned away again, focusing back on the pancakes. “But…I mean, would it be the worst thing in the world if it <em>was</em> a date?”</p><p>“Are you kidding me?” She asked, because that's what it was supposed to be, it was supposed to be a joke. The idea of them dating was ridiculous and Dez <em>had</em> to be joking because if it was an actual possibility then Trish would have to admit to all the feelings she was trying to ignore.</p><p>“No,” Dez said, because apparently Trish couldn't just have the easy way out of this conversation. “I mean, we already live together <em>and</em> we've kissed before, why is actually dating out of the question?” Finally finished with the pancakes, Dez deposited one plate in front of Trish then took a seat in the barstool across from her. But, not even breakfast could save her from answering the question, if the look being leveled at her was anything to go by.</p><p>“Because…because it just is!” She cried at last. “I mean, do you really think we'd be a good couple? We never stop arguing.”</p><p>“Which means we aren't afraid of communicating negative feelings,” Dez said nonchalantly, pouring mustard on the innocent stack of pancakes.</p><p>“I'm mean to you!”</p><p>“We're mean to each other. It's our thing, even if it's kind of leveled off now."</p><p>“Well…I…” she sputtered out, angry at herself for not being able to think of another reason. She was Trish De la Rosa, she never got tongue-tied! Except, apparently, right now.</p><p>Dez waited for another argument, and when none came, said, “So now that <em>that's</em> over, what's the real reason?”</p><p>She stared down at the whipped cream smiley face on her pancakes, suddenly finding it hard to look Dez in the eyes. “You're annoying, you know that?”</p><p>“I've been told. Also, still not hearing a reason.”</p><p>“You want a reason?” She snapped, finding the redhead's calm demeanor suddenly infuriating. And because anger was easy, easier than admitting to all the things she was afraid to say. “Fine! Maybe I don't want to date you because you don't even really like me. Austin and Ally are always busy touring and recording and you're just latching on to me because I'm here and you don't want to be alone!”</p><p>“Oh, come on!” Dez shouted back, surprising her with a volume and heat that rivaled her own. “It's okay if you don't like me back! I'm not trying to force you to date me, but don't act like my feelings for you aren't real, or that they don't matter.”</p><p>She wanted to scream. She wanted to pull the annoying redhead in front of her in for a kiss neither of them would ever forget but she also wanted to run away to the other side of the globe. But instead of doing any of those things, she just buried her face in her palms. She didn't say anything, and neither did Dez. The longer the silence went on, the more tired Trish got, tired of ignoring her feelings, tired of restraining herself, tired of being defensive whenever someone brought up her and Dez's relationship.</p><p>At last, Dez decided to break the silence with a quiet, “And this isn't because I'm lonely. I love you, really. I have for years. I just…didn't want to mess things up.”</p><p>“Aren't you still scared?” she asked, matching the softness of Dez's voice. “Aren't you scared that dating will ruin our friendship? Ruin…us?”</p><p>“How will we know if we don't try?” Was all Dez said in response.</p><p>A pale, freckled hand was outstretched on the counter between them. She reached out with her own and interlaced their fingers.</p><p>“So…?” Dez said, drawing out the word in a half sing-songing way.</p><p>“If you don’t mind the risk, then neither do I,” Trish said. And then, just to lighten the tension, “I'm sure you aren't the <em>worst</em> boyfriend in the world.”</p><p>But, instead of laughing or pouting like she expected, Dez, for the second time this morning, noticeably and visibly cringed. Now, if she got worried every time Dez behaved weirdly, she'd never have time for anything else, but lately her roommate had been acting in a way that was distinctly different from normal Dez weirdness.</p><p>“What's up with you?” She asked. Subtlety had never been her strong suit.</p><p>“Nothing!” Dez said a little too quickly, voice a little too high. But, at a single raised eyebrow, Dez crumbled. “I’m just…not really into the ‘boyfriend’ thing.”</p><p>“Seriously? We go through all that, and then you pull the ‘I don't like labels' card?” She said incredulously.</p><p>“What?! No, I want to date you and for you to be my girlfriend and for us to have a spring wedding and all that. It's more about the ‘boy’ part,” Dez explained somewhat frantically. She mentally filed the wedding tidbit under ‘Things to talk about way way way later' before focusing on the topic at hand.</p><p>“Okay, so I have no clue what that means.”</p><p>“It's just…I don't know if I’m actually a guy? Like the idea that people actually perceive me as male makes me uncomfortable, but not in the good way.” Dez shrugged, but the façade of forced nonchalance was ruined when the redhead stabbed at a pancake with way more force than necessary.</p><p>While it certainly wasn't a conversation she anticipated on having, it was easier to talk about this than her feelings. “So you’re trans?”</p><p>“I guess?” Dez said in a tone that made it clear that both of them were equally confused. “All I know is that I’m definitely not a guy.”</p><p>Trish took a slow sip of orange juice as she mulled over Dez's words. “So, what? Do I have a girlfriend now?”</p><p>“No, that's not it either. I just kind of feel like…neither? It's so confusing because I don't know what being any other gender is supposed to feel like.”</p><p>Trish took another swig of juice to occupy her mouth and stall her reply. One thing she’d learned over the years was that helping people deal with their problems was never as easy as Dez made it look. “Well, I'm not exactly a certified gender expert or anything.”</p><p>An embarrassed flush crawled over Dez's face. “Right, sorry. I shouldn't be dumping all this on you. I-”</p><p>“Don't be stupid,” She interrupted, ripping off a corner of her pancake and flicking it at Dez's forehead. She imagined that somewhere, Austin was mourning the waste of his favorite food. “I just meant that I don't know how much of I help I’ll be. But we're dating, you doof; I don't mind if you still want my help figuring this shit out.”</p><p>Dez broke into a jubilant smile. “Say it again.”</p><p>“What, that you're stupid? I say that all the time.”</p><p>“No!” Another eye-roll. “That we're dating! I like hearing it.”</p><p>“You're such a sap,” she said, even though she was fighting her own smile. She had to admit, being open about their feelings for each other was kind of great, even if said feelings were super mushy and love-dovey. “Anyway, focus. Gender, confusing, not really a guy or girl.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah,” Dez said, like the topic had been completely driven from their mind by the short exchange. “I guess label-wise…nonbinary is the most fitting? Huh, talking about this with you was actually super helpful. Thanks, babe!”</p><p>If anybody asked, Trish's heart definitely did not skip a beat at the casual pet name.</p><p>“I know, I'm a genius,” she said sarcastically. “So, what's up pronoun-wise? Are you still okay with ‘he'?”</p><p>“Eh.” Dez made a seesawing motion with their hand. “I'm not Mcloving it. Same with ‘she'" A pause, and then a considering head tilt. “I think I'm okay with ‘they’ though.”</p><p>“So when I call our landlord, I should say, “My roommate is the stupidest person on earth and brought in a bunch of animals because they want to be evicted?”” she teased.</p><p>Dez stuck their tongue out at her and snarked something back and it was funny, almost, how everything was different but so much had stayed the same. They bantered back and forth more as the breakfast on their plates slowly dwindled. They’d have to clean up the kitchen later and then figure out how to juggle a relationship with their already packed schedule, but those were problems for future Dez and Trish. Right now, all she cared about was arguing with Dez about which Zaliens movie had the most gay subtext.</p><p>And when Dez gave their interlaced fingers a tentative squeeze, she squeezed back.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>